Moving Forward... or Are We?

So now that you know my background, and where my husband and I are going with this crazy situation called "trying for a baby", I have to update you as to where we stand now.
One of the best things about the first pregnancy was the surprise factor.  It was a total, complete surprise, and that made it so incredible... I can't even explain.  I'm sure those of you out there who have experienced it can understand.  There was no counting days until missed periods, no "trying" on certain days.  It wasn't a chore, it just ... happened!  Obviously, there are downsides of this.  I wasn't taking the proper care of my body to prepare it for pregnancy.  But I figured if I could somehow toe the line in terms of caffeine and alcohol consumption, take a prenatal vitamin daily, AND not think about dates and expectations, we'd have the perfect surprise.
But life is never perfect.
So as hard as I tried not to do the math game in my head, counting out weeks and days, it happened involuntarily.  It's not like it's calculus... just simple addition!  So when my expected ovulation time rolled around, I knew.  And my husband did not.  I was torn... should I take my chances?  Let him know?  This was not working out as I thought it would.  (Yes, I know.  That's life.  But come on!)
So I decided against telling him, because I really wanted to try to make it work without turning into that-couple-that's-trying-to-have-a-baby and making sex a chore, a duty.  And timing just didn't work out, because I definitely didn't get pregnant that month. 
Fast forward to the next month.  I caved and told him.  I wanted to actually "try" this time around, at least as much as possible without going to the extreme.  So, we did... and for the remaining two weeks until my monthly visitor, I was CONVINCED.  I tricked my brain into feeling pregnancy symptoms.  Feeling nauseous?  Of course, that has to be morning sickness!  Cramps?  No, those couldn't be the period kind...
Except, they were.  To be even more cruel, I was a few days late, but two tests later, it was obvious that this hadn't been the magic month.
Which leaves both husband and I with the feeling of desperation that I'm sure so many couples experience.  What's wrong with us?  Why didn't it happen?  It should have happened -- there were multiple opportunities.
It was so easy before.